Don’t let PERFECTIONISM ruin your life (It almost ruined mine)

I have been told that I am a perfectionist and you know it is funny but my perfectionism cannot stand that [Music] that's why I went online and did a simple research among the words that describe perfectionists I found what could be a good description of myself critical I unrealistic standards depressed by unmet goals procrastination and low self-esteem and even my not so trustworthy source Wikipedia told me a pretty good description of myself persons striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards accompanied by critical self evaluations and concerns regarding others evaluations but it was one phrase that got stuck in my head perfectionists actually tend to achieve less and stress more and that is so true but who doesn't want to be perfect instead of just fine a couple months ago after a big breaking point where I realized that I was totally unhappy I took a flight to my parents house and made a decision I wouldn't live like this anymore and it was not my life itself that was bad quite on the contrary since my life is really good I have a loving family I've got a roof over my head and I can even pursue the career of my choice and you know I could go on with this list my life is good but this actually made things worse because I started to feel guilt for having a nice life and still feel miserable and unhappy so once I stopped complaining about the minor things in my life and saw the bigger picture I realized that it was my perception of life that was making me suffer there is something that prevents me from enjoying from living my life to the fullest I always feel as though I were running behind life I'm always late always stressing out always in a hurry [Music] and I reckon that most of my problems and daily struggles are the consequences of perfectionism and even though it took me a while I accepted this and I committed to change it first of all I stopped pretending that I was flawless I became open about this with my family with my friends and even here with you guys I wrote a very important post that allowed me to be honest with myself I felt relieved and openly speaking about my sadness was the first step of this journey then I began to embrace self-love which you know can be difficult at times especially when you have been through an eating disorder and you do not have the best opinion about your own body I suffer from a vent eating disorder I went through a guilt phase and that's where guilt came into game I was really really guilty I was feeling really bad about myself and yes it is funny but once again Google searching for perfectionism said that a fast and enduring track to unhappiness it is often accompanied by depression and eating disorders another thing I did was to stop of lying myself to do things that I hate I have hated myself for a long time now you know I used to be my worst enemy my worst critique I always made sure to put myself to do things that I did not like or enjoy doing to sort of punish myself somehow and procrastination was my escape way that's why I forced myself to go to the gym when I prefer running outside or doing yoga every single day when I actually enjoyed to do it once a week and stretch on the remaining days and don't get me wrong I might go to the gym if I enjoy it but right now I would rather go for a run and that's why I'm trying to focus on things that I do enjoy doing today another thing is that I confronted my fears I asked myself why was I striving so hard to be perfect I then realized that I had a terrible fear not to be loved or accepted by anyone after all people knew me as the girl with good grades organized bedroom curated and nice clothes you get the idea but you know after thinking about it for some time I realized that the important people must love me beyond the superficial costume of perfectionism they must love me for who I am and if they decide to leave or reject me well then they're not meant to be in my life anymore so then I decided to embrace a different side of me the artistic Victoria that had been trapped for many years behind the perfectionist Victoria the first one was too disorganized and unsuccessful so that's why I went with the second side of my personality which seemed to be more socially glorified but now I was allowing my artistic side to flourish and things started to change by becoming more flexible and acceptant I started to enjoy things more and even do things better than I did them before I stopped punishing myself and suddenly I felt that I was my own friend and not my enemy anymore one day I even hugged myself and that was the point where I realized that this made me feel good and as I became more flexible and embraced my imperfections I started to be real with the people around me who could relate more and my stress levels diminished I stopped suffering for the things that did not turn out to be as I expected them to even everyday things became easier and more enjoyable for instance studying for an important test no longer gave me so much anxiety since I was no longer expecting to be perfect at it and I realized that being happy and loving myself was far more valuable than being perfect and they also stopped demanding others to reach my perfect standards and you know in this chapter I am going to the clutter and let go of the ideas of perfectionism that I have carried in my head for such a long time they are heavy stones that slow myself down I know that it's not gonna be an easy journey but I am committing to it it is hard to get rid of something that has been a part of you for almost your entire life who doesn't want to be perfect instead of just fine actually me I would rather be just fine thanks now I ask you do you have high standards for yourself or others how do you deal with acceptance do you feel perfectionist in some area of your life I will love to read that in the comment section down below and also do not forget to subscribe if you did enjoy the video before leaving I want to say that I have linked the article where I took some of the prompts for this video I really enjoyed it it is simple but still it kind of gives you a good idea of what perfectionist struggle with so yeah until next time and please stay simple [Music] you

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